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    我眼中的悲憫

    時間:2018-11-18 11:46來源: 作者:clear123456 點擊:
      


    想要更真切的看清人,去醫院吧。

    自小生病次數少,去醫院的次數算是寥寥無幾。作為醫學生的我機緣巧合或是自然而然去了醫院做義工,幫助病人們掛號等。起初,并沒有想認真觀察來回的人,畢竟我涉世未深,對外人也不感興趣。但幾次活動下來,感觸頗深。

    來就醫的人本身就處于弱勢,來醫院的人大多應該不太開心吧。他們其中不乏乘幾小時的車趕來,來到一個不熟悉的地方,拖著疲憊的身體,帶著緊張的心。他們是真的緊張,對于一點小小的幫助也會感謝半天。

    有一對夫婦給我留下了深刻的印象,他們兩個個頭都不高,穿著也十分不講究甚至于邋遢。女人抱著孩子,男人背上背著包,手里也是大包小包地提著。因為身高原因或者是她太瘦小,感覺她抱著孩子很吃力,這樣子甚至有些滑稽,其實我內心是很悲痛的,自定義給他們生活艱苦等等的初印象。他們找到我,想讓我幫忙掛號,他們問的很緊張好像生怕我會拒絕。

    起初以為是男人要看病,很明顯他應該是甲亢,兩個眼睛外凸得很嚴重,神情疲憊。出乎意料的是,醫卡通是個女人的名字。他趕忙說要掛乳腺外科,他說話有很大的口音,講起來十分含混,我便讓他再重復一遍。女人在一旁看的很著急,她一邊往自己胸前指一邊說自己有乳腺癌,在她懷里的孩子也因此被晃得來回搖擺。在我示意他們掛好號后,女人長舒了一口氣,對著男人笑了。謝過我后,男人拿起地上的行李,兩人匆忙離開了。我望著他們兩人狼狽的背影,久久不能平復。

    此后,我會下意識的觀察來往的人。他們中的大多數行色匆匆,有些不會使用自助取號機,著急的神色是寫在臉上的。因為情況緊張或種種原因,他們不會考慮許多,所發出的行為也是內心的原始想法,更能顯出一個最真實的自己,因而在這里往往更能看清一個人。

    其實醫院也是充滿爭吵的地方,我對那些大聲激烈爭吵的人們也是見怪不怪了。因為來往的人們都太忙,都有自己的事,抑或是感覺幫不上忙,大都采取旁觀的策略,讓戰爭的火苗自行熄滅。

    醫院里也有的是無奈,我看到過妻子對丈夫的忍氣吞聲。對于丈夫的大吼大叫或是不給尊嚴的指責、怒斥,她們緘默不語,只是尷尬的站定。我想這其中有少無奈啊,多少不甘啊。也有許多子女協同來就診的老人,他們好像聽話的孩子,安靜的站在一旁,聽憑到子女的安排指揮。我有些傷心,他可能以前是個威嚴的父親,但此時他要靠著自己兒女,聽受指責的滋味一定不好受吧。她也許是個溫柔的母親,在此景之下也會感慨萬千吧。

    在醫院高峰期時,很多病人沒有病房,只能在長長的走廊外支起一個簡易的單人床。到了冬天更是不好受,開門關門都能感受到刺骨的寒風。青年人大多在看手機,老年人躺在床上安靜的發呆,我感覺他們對疾病好像有種漠然,不然呢,一直哭嗎?來來往往的人穿行在嘈雜的走廊上,他們對此投以各色的目光。我有些悲傷,換做是我呢,自己也不能改變什么啊。

    其實用上帝視覺看人,本身就是一種不公平。當你沒有處在同樣的環境里,你自然可以妄加斷論的內心腹誹,懷有己之偏見的看待。但有沒有想過,若自己身臨此境,又是什么樣呢。所以知道就好了,了解生活的不易與苦楚,才更能珍惜那些美好。

    懂得生活的凌厲,然內心向暖。


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