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    你心中的小鹿還在嗎

    時間:2018-12-15 11:14來源: 作者:s濡沫 點擊:
      


    程路一直覺得自己心里的小鹿已經死了。

    就像一顆石頭扔進深深的老井中,不聞聲響。

    可是程路并不覺得這有什么不好的。

    一個人吃自己愛吃的美食,一個人去看電影,一個人逛街,一個人讀書,一個人旅行,偶爾也會給自己做一桌豐盛的菜。她覺得沒什么不好的,她反倒覺得這種生活充滿樂趣和自在。

    一個人很快樂啊,程路甚至不想去改變些什么。

    這樣的生活狀態會不會帶來什么不便呢?程路倒是覺得沒有。她沉浸于自己的世界,卻不妨礙她去生活。她知道怎么為自己鋪路,知道自己的什么樣子最討喜,了解每個人在她心里的重要程度以及他們表情中有時候透露出來的心理狀態,這些她都一清二楚。可是她不說。正是因為太清楚,她選擇假裝看不清這個世界,每天在人前都是一臉無害的笑容。她累嗎?她不覺得累,因為太過應對自如,她也因此有更多的時間,去一個人慢慢地生活。

    是的,程路還沒有對象。這么說來也不奇怪,程路自己也覺得,自己是個淡漠的人,找對象實在是太麻煩了。可是她的親朋好友都著急了呀,怎么回事呀,都快三十了,連戀愛都沒談過,這可怎么行呢。

    為了讓親朋好友放心,程路淡定從容地笑著去面對他們安排的每一場相親。程路倒是覺得沒什么,這也沒什么不好的,她相信緣分。

    程路一如從前地坐在了餐館,這是一家麻辣燙店,她今天中午突然想吃麻辣燙了。相親對象會不會不高興呢?她不知道,她覺得自己吃得開心就很好。她坐著等了一會兒,開始百無聊賴地玩了手機。這時一個男孩兒匆忙地跑進店里,張望了一周,最后目光停留在程路身上,他帶著不太確定的表情慢慢走到程路面前,試探地問了一句:“要和我見面的人,是你嗎?”程路笑著點了點頭,伸出手說:“你好,初次見面,我叫程路。”

    男孩兒是個陽光的人,程路常常一抬頭就能對上他張揚的笑臉,眼睛笑的時候,特別很好看。程路注意到,這個男孩兒很有禮貌,上菜時會跟服務員說謝謝,會主動給她燙碗和洗筷子,會時刻留意著她的杯子給她續溫水。程路不禁低頭笑了笑,男孩兒給她續水的手頓了一下,說:“你笑起來,真的很好看啊。”程路一愣,抬頭便對上他的眼,那雙閃閃發光而真誠的眼睛,讓她第一次有了心動的感覺。

    心動的感覺是怎么樣的呢,沒有心如擂鼓,沒有腦子里好像在放煙花,就是你看著他,你發現全世界好像只有他了,而你的心,好像只在為他跳動。心中的小鹿好像蘇醒了,眨了眨惺忪睡眼,在看見他的那一瞬,在心里到處亂撞。你才發現,原來心中的小鹿一直都在,只是沒有遇到,能喚醒它的人。

    小鹿晃了晃小小的腦袋,撲楞著閃閃發亮大眼睛,在心中慢慢悠悠地踱步。

    程路最近發呆的時間越來越長了。

    愛情是什么樣的呢?程路忍不住想象。可是她想象不出來,她總是一個人。她突然覺得即將要打開關閉已久的城門迎接另一個人,有點不知所措。

    直到男孩兒給她打了電話。

    男孩兒約她傍晚去中心廣場散步。電話的那邊,男孩兒傻乎乎地笑著,輕飄飄地說著話,讓程路有點覺得耳朵那邊好像被輕輕地呵了一口氣,溫溫熱熱地,這個男孩兒感覺很暖,程路紅了臉。

    那天晚上很冷呀,程路穿了厚厚長長的羽絨服,圍著幾乎遮住半張臉的圍巾到中心廣場赴約。她遠遠地就看到男孩兒在興奮地向她招手,她不禁加快了步子。

    “哈哈哈,程路,你穿得好可愛呀!”

    程路把遮住半張臉的圍巾拉上了一點,直接蓋住了自己的頭,漲紅了臉。

    男孩兒摸了摸程路的頭,把她的圍巾輕輕掀開,看著她有點濕潤的大眼睛,他笑著說:“你是害羞得想躲起來嗎?”

    他們一起逛廣場,發現他們的愛好都不太一樣。程路喜歡讀書、看動漫,喜歡研究植物,喜歡各種各樣奇奇怪怪的東西。而男孩兒喜歡足球,喜歡研究計算機,喜歡小動物,喜歡做飯,喜歡陳奕迅。但是他們發現對方都對自己的愛好有一定的了解,也很尊重。有時候相處得來,不一定是趣味相投,也可能是,你愛的,我都可以理解尊重接受和支持。

    他們路過了一個兒童游樂場,程路突然慢下了腳步,靜靜地看著。男孩兒看著她,問:“想玩兒嗎?”程路點了點頭。男孩兒去問工作人員,讓我朋友進去玩會兒行不行,我多給點錢吧。工作人員說,這是兒童項目。

    程路對他笑著聳了聳肩,說,沒關系啦。

    男孩兒沉默地看著她,突然蹲了下來,說,你上來吧!

    男孩兒一直背著程路,走出了廣場,走到了中心湖。一路上很多人回頭看,程路不好意思地把頭抵在男孩兒的頸窩,心里忍不住想:果然很暖啊。

    男孩兒把程路放下,在中心湖邊,那里剛好在放煙花。轉瞬即逝的煙花在黑夜的幕布前上演了又散場,在舞臺上散發的那一瞬間的光,灑在了在湖邊抬頭看著它的每一個人的臉上,說來奇怪,煙花總是出現在喜慶的場合中,明明短暫不可及,卻總感覺它用自己的瞬間美好,在祝愿所有的人,天長地久。

    男孩兒看著程路的側臉,說:“其實你真的是一個小孩子。”

    程路轉過臉來看他。

    “可是我卻想就這樣背你一輩子,讓你永遠不要長大。”

    程路看著他,忍不住紅了眼眶。

    “你愿意嗎。”

    程路點了點頭。她心中的小鹿,活蹦亂跳。

    煙花還在上演又散場,祝愿天下有情人,終成眷屬。

    程路突然覺得,兩個人的生活,好像也沒有多么難。各自做最真實的自己,就很好。

    有時候,緣分其實真的很奇妙。在對的時間遇到對的人,其實只是在那一瞬間暗自對自己說:“啊,就是他了。”其實在麻辣燙店見面的那一刻,程路就覺得,這輩子,是他了。

    后來程路跟他一起吃飯,一起讀書看報,一起看動漫,一起在家里養很多小植物、一只小狗芋頭和一只小貓可樂,一起看足球比賽,一起打游戲,一起做飯,一起聽陳奕迅的歌,一起旅行,還一起去迪士尼游樂園。程路覺得,不是她不再喜歡一個人的世界了,只是,她允許了另一個人,進入了她的世界。

    后來有一天男孩兒笑著牽著她的手,不知怎么的就想起以前的事,他感嘆地說:“其實那天在麻辣燙店我原本要見的人并不是你。那天我接到一個電話說撿到了我之前丟失的東西,那人約我在店里見面。可我卻陰差陽錯地,坐在了你的對面。”他頓了頓,“我一直都相信緣分。”程路笑了。

    程路知道其實一直以來,自己只活在自己的世界里是多么的任性,她以成熟堅強獨立的姿態面對這個世界,可是只有她自己知道,她其實只是想努力變得強大,來守護內心的那一份幼稚和叛逆。

    但是很幸運的是,她的男孩兒,在努力把她護在懷里,讓她安心地在這紛擾的世界中,自由地幼稚。


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