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    爺爺的笑,爺爺的背

    時間:2018-12-30 14:13來源: 作者:余季惟 點擊:
      

    離爺爺去天堂的日子已經快兩年之久了,我時常循著記憶的路線回憶爺爺的點滴。雖因止不住的思念而淚流滿面,卻常回憶和爺爺在一起的時光,心里倍感溫暖。想用自己的筆留下爺爺隨著時光而去的腳步,可總擔心,擔心自己筆觸太過稚嫩,不能將心中的爺爺好好書寫在筆尖,鐫刻在心里,生生辜負了這在人間謙卑勤勞的靈魂;也會害怕,害怕如果不遺余力將我心中爺爺的印象和盤托出,這一紙薄薄的安魂詩就如同最終的告別語,爺爺就真的隨風而逝了。擔心和害怕終究抵不過那些回憶的溫暖,在溫暖的記憶里,最深刻的就屬爺爺的笑,還有爺爺的背……

    燦爛的笑,健壯的背

    小的時候,每逢假期總要到鄉下爺爺家住上一陣子,那是我的童年最無憂無慮的時光。爺爺家的肥肥的橘貓、憨實的小黑狗和我一起懶洋洋地躺在高高的金色稻谷旁,望著藍天上隨風而緩慢移動的云彩,就好像時間永遠都沒有盡頭。

    爺爺是村子里的能工巧匠,家里面的桌椅板凳,床榻灶臺都是他親手制作的,一個釘子也沒用。爺爺還是個畫家,姥爺去世那會兒,爺爺為姥爺畫了一幅遺像,家人們都說特別的像。爺爺還是老中醫,奶奶哪里有身體不適的時候,他就清早出去采藥,回來給奶奶治病,總是會藥到病除。爺爺也精通書法武術,他會趁我在鄉下待著的時候教我書法和武術,可是我總想偷懶不學,心里頭惦記著外面一望無際的田野。爺爺也不怪我,囑咐不讓我走得太遠了。

    “不插八一秧”是家鄉的農民們口中的俗語。七月底是農活最重的時候,這個時候要把成熟的早稻收回來,然后立馬把晚稻播種下去,要是播種得太晚了,可能晚稻的收成也就不盡人意。整個村子的人們都在土地里面忙的不可開交,“雙搶”——搶收搶種的日子里,大人們通常都沒辦法顧及到小孩子的。可是調皮的我偏偏趁著這個空當,躲過了爺爺的眼睛,牽著堂弟的手悄悄地離開了家。一路上我們時而在田埂里面說說笑笑,看著近處帶著草帽俯身耕種的人們,望望遠處綠水青山;時而哼著輕松的小曲,微風拂過枝葉顫動,我們仿佛也看見了微風在田野上的形狀,真是不亦樂乎。

    “季子,別走遠了。”熟悉的聲音像是微風吹到了耳邊,轉頭看見了一個清瘦黝黑的身影向我們走來,“是爺爺來了,我們走快些,別讓他追上我們!”我對弟弟說,弟弟也聽我的話,于是我們走得更快了,竟然和爺爺在田埂里面玩起了老鷹捉小雞的游戲。爺爺的腳步還是比我們走得更快,不一會兒就趕上了我們。“季子,別走遠了,爺爺找不到你們了”,爺爺的語調平和,好像可以聞到空氣里面的咸咸的汗水味。在這“雙搶”的關鍵時候,爺爺沒有責怪我不聽話,反而縱容著我的調皮。我抬頭,金燦燦的陽光讓我晃了眼,爺爺燦爛的笑容卻清清楚楚的印在眼前,黝黑的臉龐襯著牙齒特別的潔白。說完就一把我背上背,手牽著堂弟往回走。趴在爺爺的背上,爺爺的背有力又厚實,那么健壯,像是腳下的土地一樣,肥沃而豐饒,給人深切的安全感。我用自己的小手幫爺爺擦了擦他滿頭的汗水,心里面雖然涌起點點的愧疚,但卻心安理得的享受著爺爺的疼愛。

    爽朗的笑,挺直的背

    時光流逝,我上了初中。那個時候,因為課業變多了,也變難了,覺得自己的壓力變大了很多。暑假依舊在爺爺家度過,臨近暑假末尾的一天早上,我特別想回去,央求著爺爺帶我回家。但是那時候在修路,從市里我家到鄉下爺爺家的公交都停運了。爺爺也犯難,想了想說:“要不明天爺爺和你一起走到你家去吧。”奶奶卻在旁邊著急了:“從鄉下到季子家得20多公里,你們爺孫這樣走得走到什么時候去呀!看這天氣,說不定明天還得下雨呢!”爺爺想了想,看著我:“季子,你說呢?回不回去?”我肯定的點了點頭。出發前的晚上,奶奶就一直在念叨:“怎么走得回去哦!”可是手上也停不下來地為我和爺爺準備出行的衣服、雨傘和雨鞋。

    出行那天,還不到5點,天剛剛亮,我和爺爺就出發了。我穿著奶奶給我準備的酒紅色燈芯絨的襯衫,黑色長褲,還有紅色的雨靴。爺爺里頭穿著白色襯衣,外頭穿著黑色夾克,黑色長褲和黑色雨靴,還帶著一頂草帽。就這樣我們爺孫倆人在奶奶千叮嚀萬囑咐下,踏上了回家的路。

    一路上,我和爺爺并排走著。從鄉下到城里的路有好多行人和我們一起走,行人們都嘰嘰喳喳說個不停;從城里去鄉下的路是車行通道,面包車、小巴士滴滴叭叭的聲音此起彼伏。而我和爺爺卻沒有說話,一直低頭不停歇地走著。不一會兒,天空就下起了小雨,我撐起了雨傘,但是淅淅瀝瀝的雨水還是飄到了我的紅色雨靴里面,滴滴答答的,一點一滴的,慢慢我的雨靴里面就像一個小池塘一樣了,腳步越來越沉重,像是灌了鉛一樣。抬頭看看爺爺,他一聲不吭的埋頭走路,黝黑的側臉像是鄉下的山峰一樣,棱角分明。雨滴順著爺爺的草帽滴下來,爺爺的黑色夾克和白色襯衣都濕透了,緊貼在爺爺背上,脊柱的形狀都清晰可見。突然感覺爺爺的背沒有小時候的那樣健壯了,消瘦了很多,但依舊很挺直。我心想,在困難的歲月里面,爺爺是不是也是這樣一聲不吭的默默堅持過來的呢?于是我偷偷地把雨靴里面的雨水倒掉了,然后小跑跟上爺爺的腳步,隨著人群向前走。

    直到中午12點,我和爺爺終于走到了我在城里的家,爸爸媽媽早已經做了一桌好飯好菜在等著我們。爺爺把濕透的衣服換下來,我也換了一身清爽的衣服。我們一家人圍著熱騰騰的飯菜準備大飽口福,早已經筋疲力竭的我看著這一桌的美味已經迫不及待了。一言不發的爺爺露出了爽朗的笑容:“哈哈!這可是季子人生中的第一次‘萬里長征’啊!”聽到這句話,心里頭不知怎的暖洋洋的,于是飯就吃得更起勁了……后來的初中生涯,每當我感覺到困難堅持不下去的時候,想起爺爺挺直的背,還有那爽朗的笑容和溫暖語言,就倍感鼓舞,好像爺爺一直都在默默在我的身旁陪伴我。

    微弱的笑,瘦削的背

    直到我上師范大學,成為班級里面第一批正式的共產黨員。過年回到爺爺家,我特地第一時間把這個好消息告訴爺爺,爺爺別提有多開心了。他那個時候已經年邁,又經歷了第一次中風,腿腳顯得有一些不方便,口齒也沒有以前那樣清楚了。我還是從爺爺不清晰的話語里面聽到他說:當初年輕時候參加工作后第一次遞交入黨申請書的激動,雖然后來沒有當成中共黨員而回到了村里面種田,但是還是對黨懷抱著感恩和崇敬的心。說到這時爺爺渾濁的眼珠里面卻閃現出了亮晶晶的光芒,突然嚴肅的叮囑我:“季子,當了老師,要把頭發挽起來,要行得正,做得端,要有一個老師的樣子,要為人師表。聽見了嗎?”我立刻點點頭,答應爺爺盡力做到最好。

    之后的幾年,爺爺又經歷了第二次中風,腿腳越發不靈便的爺爺還是停不下來的做農活,爺爺的牙齒也因為中風而掉了很多顆,說話總是要重復很多遍才能夠聽清楚。但是我每一次回鄉,我們爺孫倆都會坐在大廳里面,安安靜靜的一起說說話。爺爺或者是絮絮叨叨的跟我講他過去的故事,或者深沉的跟我說起他的人生感悟,他一生眷念的土地和人們,總歸是不會忘記囑咐我幾句話。我總是把那一些話刻在了心里面。

    前年暑假回家,告別爺爺的時候,爺爺已經沒有了力氣站起來了,只能夠目送我和爸爸媽媽一起離開鄉間小屋。我們都已經走了一段路程,我內心涌上了一陣說不出的苦澀,轉身回去,回到小屋,給了爺爺一個擁抱。小時候爺爺可以輕而易舉的把我背在背上,但是我現在抱著的爺爺卻像是秋季收割之后在田埂里面剩下的秸稈,冬天漫長而寒冷,它變得瘦削而干枯。爺爺把一生獻給了土地和兒女,但是歲月卻奪走了他的一切。歲月啊!你太無情了!我止住了要洶涌而出的眼淚,卻止不住哽咽顫抖的聲音:“爺爺,您好好的,等我回來”。爺爺的眼睛亮亮的,我看不清楚,里面是光亮還是淚水,蒼老的臉上只留下了一個微弱的微笑。沒有想到,這竟是我和爺爺的最后一次見面,爺爺在那年冬天就與世長辭了。

    我愛的爺爺,孫女兒知道,在鄉村小屋通往永生天堂的路上,時光會倒流,您的笑容會愈發爽朗、燦爛,您的背會愈發挺直、健壯……一如當初的溫暖。最后您的靈魂會化作天空上,黃昏時分西方第一個點亮的、東方既白時仍然耀眼的啟明星。在夜幕降臨之際,為我點亮心靈的燈,盼我歸家;在旭日初升之時,為我指明希望的方向,引我前行……


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